Everyone has a moment where they think to themselves "Now what was I about to do?"
A mayor never really knows what he's talking about since he really hasn't been in your situation
Some of your closest friends could be stalkers... or perverts
Nobody is perfect.
Never rely on a minister for a wise saying... just a good joke
New Years is just another reason to drink with those you love.
It's nice to laugh at one's mistakes... however it's not nice to laugh in someone's face
There's always a crazy kid in a bunch who will go out on a limb in order to be unique.
You'll always be a kid until you turn 13. Then it's time to grow up.
If you take away a kid's games, you're taking away his faith in God.
Life's many treasures lie behind locked doors
Nobody uses a mailbox anymore. It's all e-mail and instant messaging.
A girl always finds a time to kiss a guy at the wrong time. Ex: "Quit kissing me I can't see the fireworks!"
If someone is quiet and nonresponsive to anything you say, just leave them alone.
Some phrases are verbal punches to a man... and his wallet
Moat monsters are real!
Girl talk is boring to guys.
If a woman floats on water she is a witch, if she sinks she's innocent
D.A.R.E. teaches a lot about drugs to kids, but they forget it as soon as they're in high school
As soon as you bring in a pet into the house (like a butterfly) it appears crowded.
Getting married will always brings friends and family together
You drink beer... and you'll tend to get a little dizzy
The choices in life are often difficult
When you get sick... it makes your wife even more special
Hobos with hawks won't get off your property
You realize death is real
Pets help you run away from your problems
Old ladies don't know the difference between a cat and a baby
Getting home from work early has its rewards
With an impressive garden, people will never get off your lawn
Creating a stairway that leads to your roof...pointless. This is about the time you realize how foolish you are
Having to put down an animal is one of life's many challenges
The government is slowly becoming a Canadian Kerry
Realizing that some people may be bi
Having to face an ex
Being in a girl's room should be a privilege
Being in two girls' rooms in one day should be an honor. This is when you can call yourself an official pimp
Women give great advice. Never talk back to a woman unless you know the remark will not be offensive to her
Babies should know when to shut the hell up and respect their parents. To teach them a lesson you have
to punish them... paddle time
Close friends let you do fun stuff with them. Pissing your pants while having so much fun isn't good
Having a baby when you're still a teen is a bad thing! Since abortion is bad, let the kid grow up... until he's 3 years old (jk)
Being on a pier with that certain someone just makes life worth something... but pushing them off that pier would be a big mistake
You are forced to go to church as a kid. When you're an adult it's an option. Then again when you're a kid, you don't want to go to church because you'd rather just stay home playing video games. While when you're an adult you want to go to church just to get the kids to stop bugging you or to clear your mind
The edge of the universe is boring
Kids are thinking about sex years before they should be. Just make an extreme excuse. Ex: "If you have sex, the woman will get pregnant, and your weewee will fall off"
Dancing with that certain someone is fun... unless it's on a bunch of rocks, in which case be sure to wear
sneakers and watch your partner to make sure he/she doesn't fall down
People will just barge into your house @ 7 in the morning to tell what they were doing all morning. This is annoying and frustrating
People don't phrase sentences the way they should
When you know you're dreaming, the dream goes away and you're caught in a cold room where you look at yourself in 3rd person
Kids think they can use adult lingo when they feel tough... smack 'em upside the head
Answering simple questions is boring
Being stuck in a room with a good looking girl isn't a bad situation at all!

When you have a mess in front of you, and the world seems to be scorning you... go to sleep
It's okay for a girl to ask a guy out now and then
Jokes can sometimes be viewed as insults
When you're bored, there's nothing ever good on television
Old people are cranky!!!
Naming a pet is a special moment in life... don't screw it up!
People don't care what others think!
People care about what others KNOW!
Models are always hungry... maybe because they never keep the food in their stomachs for that long